Drafts,drafts everywhere but not one to be published

•November 22, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Yes, I have been writing but not one is finished. But I am working on it. More words of insight coming soon

“And long last looks must end”

•August 14, 2010 • 3 Comments

The day is quickly approaching and I am going nuts. One of my close friends is moving away for college.

Four years ago I meet someone who in a nut shell changed my life. And no it isn’t my boyfriend.  I never knew that meeting her would have such a giant impact on me. Over the past years she has become one of my best friends, one of the few people I can really trust. She’s pretty much like one of my sisters and on August 30th she is going away to college, 2 hours away. As much as I am proud of her I am equally saddened by this.

See, when we first meet we talked every single day, but somewhere between then and the beginning of senior year we lost contact, sort of lost that connection. Well, this past year I gained that fun-loving friendship back. And honestly became a better person for it. She showed me how to be myself again,  that originality is okay, and to be passionate in all that you do. In my eyes it is as if I just got her back and now I am losing her again.Deep down I know she is not leaving forever and that she will be back but, in my current state of mind, it  doesn’t feel that way.

I am glad to say that the one other friend that I trust with my life will still remain close by. I am hoping that she will help support me when I need it as she has in the past. I honestly believe that if she were to go away(far away)  for college that I would lose it. She has been with me through a lot and my biggest fear is losing her to some outside force. I almost lost her to the afterlife this last year and I wont go through that emotional tragedy again.

It’s a part of life. You graduate, grow up, go to college, move away, create a life of your own.  These things happen all the time and people get through it. They move on with their lives barely bothered by the changes made around them. These two girls have had such an impact on my life that losing them, in any sense of the word, would devastate me. They have been my life line for the last four years of my life and its pretty hard to imagine it with out them. But time moves on and changes have to be made. What’s important in the end is those that you have standing at your back waiting for you to be in need. Those who you can trust enough to call them a friend.

– “… A friend who taught me right from wrong, and weak from strong. That’s a lot to learn. What can I give you in return?” – To Sir With Love-Lulu

I like to call myself a clumsy poet.

•August 10, 2010 • 3 Comments

And This is the beginning

of the much rumored end.

Whats to come of all this destruction?

So quickly we have all fallen

from our pedestals so high.

Who would have predicted

that we would be the last to survive?

Of all the ones who have fallen

Of all the ones who had to die

Who knew it would be you and I?

All theses years I spent dreading the day.

It is now here despite me.

There’s no use to fighting it.

After all what good would it do?

I stand here now staring at the remains

Of my once normal life

Waiting  for what comes next.

Waiting to hear those two words.

The ones that had started this chaos.

The very words that ended life as I knew it.

And you utter them

Through your hard lips,

” I do”

a little insight

•August 10, 2010 • 2 Comments

We only get one chance to do this.

One chance to get it right.

No mistakes.

No dress rehearsals.

Make it worth your wild.

Wake up everyday and live it.

Go to bed late and fulfilled

Why let life past you by?

Make memories.

Life is too short to spend it cramped up like a hermit.

Live it to your fullest and don’t give a rats tushie.

Beggers can’t be choosers

•July 28, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Well, like any typical American family now a days I come from a broken home. Strangely enough my parents have been separated for 10+ years but they have yet to divorce each other. Threw out the years it has been hard to get the two of them in a room together yet alone talk to each other. Of course, I have come to the realization that my family will never be as whole as it once was but I have always had a glimmer of hope that my family could act civil towards one another. To my shock and awe, my hoping has not been in vain. Within recent months, due to a series of bizarre events, my mother and father have communicated quite nicely together lately.  This makes my exceedingly happy. Well, it did, until today.

There is one topic that my mother and father can speak about with out butting heads and without sarcastic remarks towards each other. Unfortunately, the topic is that of my one and only boyfriend. I have been with the same guy for two years. I thought the family judgmental phase was over. Ha ha. Funny me. These two get together and its like it is my boyfriends own personal roast.

Neither of the two had like the idea of losing their little girl and they make sure to draw that to my attention. They are too attached to the idea that there isn’t a person out there good enough for me that they can’t see the good qualities of this specific individual. It makes me wonder about the close mindedness that exists in our “great” society. How many other judgments are made on a daily basis because of the unwillingness to be open-minded? Of course we have made giant strides. After all we do have an African-American president. But how long did it take our nation to support this idea? And how many people still do not accept this?

If acceptance is the key then when will we ever find the lock? Why is it so difficult to take away all prejudice and see people what they are for as a person?

I didn’t mean to get off on a little tangent. Anyways, I finally got my father back into my life at a time when it seems to be the most crucial. Yes, at times I have to bite my tongue. But he is finally making an effort. Which for my father it is a big deal. I no longer have that hatred that I once had towards him. I have accepted him for who he is. Because he is actually trying. And who knows, maybe somewhere along the way he might learn acceptance and accept my boy friend. One can only hope.

Thy name is art.

•July 10, 2010 • 3 Comments

To anyone who knows me I have never been the creative type, but for the past few months I have had this giant ball of creativity inside begging me to come out. Through many restless nights of experimenting with ways to expend this mass of creativity I have come to a realization that maybe a blog is in order. I highly doubt that I will have many “followers” but a blog just maybe the trick to help focus this creativity.

It is a fact that I am not the most creative person out of my group of friends. Since we are speaking factually, I very well maybe the only one with no creative talent. For instance, I have two friends both of them are amazing artist,but neither will admit it. The one can do it all; write, draw, you name she could probably do it. At times it makes me feel inadequate. I am surrounded by all these artistic people and not one of them will own up to their talent! If I had one eighth of the talent they have, you are darn right I would admit it. I wouldn’t boast but I would most defiantly agree when a friend says that I have talent.

Ok, I might have lied. I’m a little artistic, that is if you count singing as being artistic. Sing is one of my biggest passions. I had joined a group in high school called The DQs. We put on a concert with the group having a small arrangement where we sang and, oh yes, danced (Yes, I am a gleek). Mind you I’m not at all a graceful person but that night I was a rock star. The feeling I had coming off stage was like a natural high. I never felt anything else like it. I blame that day for this excess of creative energy.

Maybe its creativity that I have built up inside, or maybe its the urge to perform again. Either way this blog is my outlet. I thank my very talented friends for inspiring me to even start a blog. Maybe it will be a bust. Who knows? It’s worth a shot.